brandoncargoshortsdavis: nicklugo: i love girls i love boobs and butts and how nice they smell and legs and nice hair and soft skin girls rock This guy likes the way butts smell
nyozeka: i hope my first child is a dragon
Guys I’m not even kidding if you wanna be friends message me
growlithed: reasons why summer is poopy you sweat a lot attractive people in bathing suits you dont have a valid excuse to stay inside people expect you to put on a bathing suit going swimming yardwork theres a glare on your phone the beach you sweat a lot
lzbth: swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
mokou: if you follow me on tumblr and like my posts a lot i probably have fondly memorized your username and consider you a pal
Reblog if you'll answer anything that gets put in...
princeowl: princeowl: can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like sushi bars i could really use some fish right now fish right now fish right now this post would have been a hit in 2010
how the fuck are some people so attractive how does dna do that why doesn’t mine do that how do i make it do that what’s the html code where’s the youtube tutorial
Anonymous asked: how tall are you?
It’s so fucking hot in my store. I’m about to take my clothes off and just sell games naked. Fuck man.
mlsandry: theplaidenthusiast: Drink. Drank. Drunk. Drunk as fuck. i think my bearded friend is drunk No. No I am.
Drink. Drank. Drunk. Drunk as fuck.
multipack: pu$$y so cheap its pu¢¢y
nakedbedposts: Someone explain to me why shoving an earring through a partially closed piercing hurts more than anal.
Talk to me while I drink.
I’m gonna get fucked up tonight.
What we find in a soulmate is not something wild to tame but something wild to...– Robert Brault (via natashakills)
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
pegthepatriarchy: Eat that pussy and be grateful. There’s starving nice guys in fedoras who don’t have any.
isawthew0lf: I don’t want to get dressed. Getting dressed means I have to put pants on. Putting pants on means I have to go to work. I don’t want to go to work.
You know who doesn't get enough credit?
shessomethingsarcastic: Kenan Thompson. Made it through child fame and went from a successful kid’s sketch comedy show to one of the most well known shows ever: He stayed out of trouble and is just doing what he’s been doing for years. Good for you, Kenan Thompson.
I have two hands and you have two butt cheeks
Way too early to be working. Talk to me. Kik.
wartortles: sometimes u just need ur genitals massaged by someones mouth u know
My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself
I shouldn’t be awake right now.
There's nothing wrong with sex, people.
claireruns: thechroniclesofrin: - Having sex every day. - Saving sex for your wedding night. - Never having sex. - Having sex with different people. - Having sex with one person. - Having sex with a person of your same gender. - Loving sex. - Hating sex. - Being loud. - Being quiet. The only thing wrong with sex? When it’s not consensual. Because that’s not sex. That’s rape. ...